Okay, not so much, really

Of course I wasn't BORN Baptist. But here, in the buckle of the Bible belt that I am blessed to call home, people nod and chuckle knowingly when you say that. I really don't hear the same allusions made to being "born Methodist" or "born Catholic." Hmm. Wonder why. I guess being "born Baptist" explains a lot. Haha.

What I mean by that -- and what most of us mean by that -- is that my family, on both sides, was Baptist as far back as anyone can reckon. My earliest memories of my Christian heritage begin with my grandparents on both sides. My mother's father was a Baptist preacher. His wife, who is but a single angel's breath short of sainthood in my eyes, was the ultimate picture of a preacher's wife. She grew flowers and made the arrangements for the tiny little churches. She cooked meals and visited the sick. She taught Sunday school, VBS, Sunbeams. What sweet, sweet memories for me. I still have some of the little flannel board kits she used in those classes, and some hand-made activities she created back in the day before the slickly packaged kits churches use today. Precious.

My father's parents weren't involved in that way but were of the "whenever the doors were opened" ilk. They were involved more in fundraising, donating, etc. In their small church were a stained glass window and a pew both bearing a brass plate engraved with our family name to represent donations given for the building of the church. Whenever I went to church with them, I couldn't understand why we didn't sit in OUR bench. How can you have a bench with your name on it and NOT SIT THERE???? Well, my grandmother had HER PLACE in church. Everyone had THEIR PLACES in church. (Now I know what that's like. We were not in Sunday service most of this past summer, and when we went back in the fall we parked ourselves back in OUR PLACE. If anyone else had gotten comfortable there over the summer, they have since relocated with nary a sideways glance. And hubby and I are weird for Baptists -- out of some 50-60 rows of pews three wide, we sit on the right hand side, fourth pew from the FRONT, middle of the pew, me on the left and hubby on the right. Nerdy Baptists, I guess -- like we always like to sit up front in classes.)

Well, as you can see, both sets of grandparents were greatly involved in church and my parents, as children, were necessarily involved as well. My mother was forced to play the piano in church, which she hated. I think that when my parents both got to be teens (they hadn't met at this point) they complained enough to be relieved of mandatory church attendance. And that they liked. Church activities had become a chore and a drudgery for them.

Preview to the next installment: The sixties were not kind to families. The sixties were not kind to faith. The sixties, I believe, were pretty much single-handedly responsible for much of the family breakdown and societal mayhem with which we wrestle today. Women's lib? Pffft. No friend of mine, let me tell you. Also, let me tell you how NOT to raise a child: "Oh, we were so unhappy with organized religion; let's just let her find her own way." Pardon my French but "finding my own day" literally damn near got me killed, certainly spiritually if not practically physically. I am NOT passing that legacy to my child.

Proverbs 22:6 -- Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

I Was Born a Baptist

Let me digress to say, "Really?" Over three months since my last entry? Gee, school must have started back in the meantime. Life is a blur.

I'm feeling compelled to write something here that will necessarily arrive in installments. I'm actually preparing for something I have to do in a few weeks. At school, every morning, the teachers meet for prayer/devotions. Thursdays are always teacher-led devotions, and this year we were given a theme: our testimony. I am actually looking forward to doing this. My day is about a month away and I have to start now, sorting out my thoughts. There is so much I want to say, but I need to see it all written down so I can prioritize. I mean, I'll only have twenty minutes. In a class that my husband and I used to teach for new Christians, we instructed the participants to develop an abridged version of their Christian testimony, short enough to give while crossing the street, so as to be able to tell their story succinctly. But me? Ha.

I do know how I'll start out. It's the same way I intend to start out here. Many who haven't known me for a long time probably assume, based on my zealousness regarding some moral and social issues, that I was born and raised in a Christian family. I truly was not. My story is one of coming to a saving relationship with Christ at a relatively late age and of the many abrupt, distinct changes that decision brought to my life (all good, by the way).

I have previously been envious of those who can claim to have been born to devoutly Christian parents, who were raised in church and with a knowledge of God and His Word, and all the other beautiful blessings that go with that heritage. I have recently, however, come to appreciate the unique perspective that my own delayed salvation has brought me. This is in no way to say that I wish this experience for anyone, for we never know when Jesus will return to settle the score once and for all.

1 Thessalonians 5:1-5
1 Now as to the times and the epochs, brethren, you have no need of anything to be written to you. 2 For you yourselves know full well that the day of the Lord will come just like a thief in the night. 3 While they are saying, "Peace and safety!" then destruction will come upon them suddenly like labor pains upon a woman with child, and they will not escape. 4 But you, brethren, are not in darkness, that the day would overtake you like a thief; 5 for you are all sons of light and sons of day.

But, my experience regarding my late-coming relationship with Christ just cements the fact that I am blessed and protected by God and I always have been. This has given me, I think, a very different perspective on grace and God's faithfulness than many who knew Him from an early age. Oh, how I do wish I would have made a decision for Him when I was young, but He knew all along that I would be His. He even knew how I would fight Him along the way, and that makes His grace that much more precious. He did not give up on me, even when I gave up on Him. I know I do not deserve to dwell in His presence, but He created me out of a desire to be with me and He pursued me relentlessly for 33 years to have that relationship. I was caught, blessedly caught, and in being caught I was set free.

2 Peter 3:9-10
9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

Grace. Grace. Amazing, sweet, flowing, abundant grace.
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

231 years old....wow!!

Happy Birthday, America!! We went this evening to our now-annual outing to the 4th of July fireworks at Lenox Square. We used to not want to bother with the crowds but we've done it the last couple of years and it's gone pretty well. Since this does take place at not just any mall, but at a mall in Buckhead, one of the most perenially congested areas of Atlanta, necessity dictates early arrival. We parked at Phipps Plaza, across the street from Lenox, as we usually do. We were able to score a great parking spot on the top level close to the mall entrance and close to the corner where we would later cross to Lenox. This great spot allowed us to be in the car and out on the highway within 20 minutes of the fireworks finale.

We arrived at 3:30 with fireworks to begin at 9:40, but thankfully we had a plan that kept us from having to a) wander through stores whose wealth detectors know the second we walk through the door that we don't belong, or 2) camp in the parking lot for 6 hours. We went to the theater and saw Ratatouille....for the second time in a week. If anything, we all (DH, 7 1/2 yo DD, and I) all enjoyed it more the second time. I was able to spend more time taking in all the peripheral details in the animation -- the bread that Remy was about to eat before he was interrupted by Gusteau looked as real as anything I've ever held in my own hand, with big crevices and a beautiful true-life translucence. The scratches and patina on the copper cookware, the unevenness of the floor in the old restaurant, the scratches on the floor under the furniture legs are just a few more examples of attention to true-life detail rendered splendidly in animation. The audience in this showing actually consisted more of adults than children, and to hear them engage in and enjoy the show really heightened the experience for all of us. It was great fun and the release of this movie on DVD may finally push me to buy a better television.

We made a quick stop at Chick-Fil-A in the food court for a bite to eat and we headed across the street at about 6:30. The whole parking lot at Lenox was closed down by this time so we had ample space to set up our three folding chairs. Then DH and DD set off to garner her a balloon. What is up with kids and balloons these days? Why is a free, cheapo balloon still a big deal? They get them everywhere now, restaurants, dentist, bookstores, you name it. I think by the time I was her age I might have ever had 5 balloons, and helium? Forget it! Anyway, off they went. Now, last year when they made this trek, they stopped at a booth for some charity where they donated a dollar and DD got to spin a prize wheel. She came back with a DVD set of Season 1 of Boston Legal, so she was truly my hero. I was hoping she could snag Season 2 for me this time, or maybe a season of The Office. Alas, they returned with one balloon, two paper fans, two giveaway do-rags and one stadium cup, all promoting the local news show that was covering the festivities.

A few bands were playing -- one country, one southern rock, one more soul style. All were pretty good but I can't for the life of me figure out why, at such a family-oriented event, they sing songs with profanity? I mean, mostly d*** and h***, but one instance of b***h. Why??

At 8 pm the live television coverage began, so a military band played the National Anthem. Six words, people: STAND UP. TAKE OFF YOUR CAPS.

After the anthem, three Blackhawk helicopters did a flyover and I got the requisite lump in my throat. Typically they have jets fly over but I always choke up at whatever show of military presence there is. I am so grateful to our dedicated men and women in uniform and their families. Off subject, but the most impressive flyover I have seen was of some Apache helicopters at the November 1992 Hooters 500 in Atlanta for Richard Petty's last-ever NASCAR race which, incidentally, was the race during which Gentleman Alan Kulwicki won the Winston Cup. The three copters blasted in out of nowhere, it seemed, and flew low to follow behind King Richard in a lap around the track. Now THAT was a sight to behold.

The fireworks began at 9:40 as scheduled. This show is reported to be the largest in the southeast, east of the Missisippi and south of DC. Anyone who has been in the same county as me knows I love Walt Disney World and a highlight of our many visits has always been to close a long day with fireworks over Cinderella Castle. But man, oh man...if I may lapse into Southern vernacular for a moment: I ain't never seen no fireworks like I saw tonight. A full 20 minutes set to the usual rousing Southern- and American-themed music. We were so close that I had to relax my head back on my seat to really get a good view, and it looked as though they were coming right down on me. Actually, we all got dusted with debris from the casings and some ash. It was surreal. The fireworks that erupted during "Georgia" were peach and green, like peaches. And there were many new effects this year that were beyond spectacular. They just took my breath away and even 20 minutes seemed to fly by.

Some things I observed during our 2 1/2-hour wait for the show:

*While I am in favor of American citizens keeping more of our money and the imperial government getting less, I think we might benefit from financial assistance to provide mirrors in some peoples' houses so they can take a look before they go out. I saw too many 50-year-old, 250-lb women in miniskirts; too many bra straps; too many flabby bellies hanging out of shirts and flabby hineys hanging out of pants; and too many thongs and tramp stamps (sorry, that's the only thing I've ever heard them called).

*40- and 50-year-old-women still think they're hot and like to dance when they've had a little bit to drink. That is alternately amusing and pathetic. I guess it's amuthetic?

*Why do people take little babies to fireworks shows? Ok, if you're a few blocks down, maybe. But 200 yards from the launching point? The group beside us had a baby who was maybe 1 month old. Guess who wasn't happy when the REALLY LOUD NOISES began? That baby and about a dozen others within spitting distance. Poor little ears.

*Two ladies beside us with 2 small children were very conscientious to take turns watching the kids so the other could step away and smoke away from the children. Right in front of us. Please, move and take your cancer sticks with you. I don't know if there's any single behavior that looks less ladylike than waving one of those things around and blowing smoke.

*Never fails any time or anywhere we get somewhere early for something, and I'm sure it doesn't just happen to us: We get there early, stake out a seat, wait patiently for our event, and right at the big moment a group comes and stands in front of us. Oh, no, buddy, I'm sorry, you're going to have to move or sit down.

*Is it possible for a Mexican female between the ages of oh, say, 18 and 40 to NOT be pregnant?

*If you're in public, and especially in a public that includes children, is it really necessary to use profanity in your conversations?

*They're called TRASH CANS. They're those big cardboard boxes about every 20 feet.

*Port-a-potties aren't necessarily evil. This event always has more than ample temporary relief facilities, probaby 150 or more, and they are always spotless.

*My DH will get mad if, at the end of the evening when all 150,000 of us are trying to walk out of the mall parking lot, a big guy pushes in front of us and I say, "Hey, buddy, we're all trying to get somewhere." Learned that by experience tonight.

*Fascinating to look at some of the couples and try to imagine how on earth they got together.

*I don't understand people coming to something like this three hours in advance and not bringing something to sit on.

*Funnel cakes are worth the wait and the six bucks. Especially if you ask for extra sugar.

Random musings from today

Resurrection Sunday -- what a blessed day. He is risen!

Webkinz. Meh. Vile little cute creatures. Anyone want to trade Beanie Babies for Webkinz? I'll trade you 10 to 1. Sure do wish they had upgraded their servers before the Easter Bunny made his rounds this morning. Apparently everyone under 10 (or under 42?) got a Webkinz today. Their site has been trash.

Speaking of the Easter Bunny...I NEVER had Easter baskets like my daughter got this morning! Gotta have a talk with that rabbit.

Have you ever been to a movie that you were embarrassed to talk about? I saw one last Friday. Now, I LOVE war movies -- Saving Private Ryan, Blackhawk Down, Full Metal Jacket, etc. Violence and bloodshed, in realistic settings such as those, don't really bother me on the surface. I also LOVED Gladiator. Last Friday, my husband wanted to see 300. "It's like Gladiator, only with 300 of them instead of one." Hmmm. 300 bare-chested Russell Crowes? Gee, let me....okay, I'm game! Well, 300 is SO NOT GLADIATOR. It was appalling. I had my head turned away for more than half the movie. It is absolutely shameful. I should have just taken my tiramisu, smuggled in from Carrabbas, and sat in the lobby. The only other movies I have hated as much, though on much different grounds, are A Fish Called Wanda and Raising Arizona. Also very embarrassed to say that I have seen Boxing Helena. Forget you saw that.

What kind of Disney fan are you?

I was going to post this on my beloved Oct. moms' board but I think the other Mouseketeers and I may be wearing out our welcome, LOL. Anyway, if you're interested:

What Kind of Disney Fan are You?

As for me?

Now, who has no life?

It's been too long since my last entry, so I'm doing what any guilt-ridden blogger would do -- blog-lifting material from others. I actually saw this on Christi's blog -- she never fails to crack me up with her gentle sarcasm. It's like reading letters from me to myself. This is the "you have no life if you have seen more than 85 of these movies....." list. I am enclosing my list for the curious but I have to wonder about the person who came up with this idea and compiled the list.

Let's consider, for a moment, that these movies are on the same list:

Scream and Wizard of Oz
Jeepers Creepers and The Little Mermaid
I Spit on Your Grave and The Chronicles of Narnia
Anchorman and Blazing Saddles
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and Sixteen Candles
Anger Management and Airplane
And Pirates of the Caribbean I and II? WTH? I only saw the first one about two months ago and now I've seen them both about 85 times. What does that mean?

Is there any comparison to those that I've highlighted above? There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to the selection of genres; A-grades vs. B-grades v.s., oh, M-grades; or the movies themselves. How on earth can anyone with any sort of reasoning ability put Saw and Finding Nemo on the same list?

I will confess to having loved Children of the Corn many years ago, but I sincerely believe that was in another lifetime. And Evil Dead, why, those were the first movies with which my DH began to woo me (I'm sure the rum and Coke helped...). But hey, anything with Bruce Campbell is a hit with me, as evidenced by the hours I spent alone with the portable DVD player and all 27 episodes of The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. last fall.

Anyway, for what it's worth (which, methinks, is not very much), I enclose my list for your your reading pleasure. By my count I get 54. This puts me safely below the "having no life" level (34% below, to be precise). But then, you have to factor in that I am spending way too much time trying to analyze this list, so that probably pushes me, relatively, back around the 10% +/- range. Sigh.

( I plead the 5^th – I have never forgiven my cousin) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease

(X ) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X ) Blazing Saddles
(X ) Airplane
(X ) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(X ) Anger Management
(X ) 50 First Dates
(X ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
(X ) Harry Potter 1
(X ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(X ) Lilo & Stitch
(X ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots
( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong
(X) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving Christmas
( ) Flubber
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(X) Ocean’s Eleven
( ) Ocean’s Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy

( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
( ) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
X) Independence Day
(X) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(X ) Christine
(X ) E.T.
(X ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(X ) Maid in Manhattan
(X ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(X ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(X ) Wizard of Oz
(X ) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
( ) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) X3
( ) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(X ) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday (the original)
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(X ) Shrek
(X ) Shrek 2
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( X) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
(X ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
( X) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
(X ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(X ) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
(X ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
( ) Base-ketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X ) Monsters Inc.
(X ) Titanic
( X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
(X ) Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
( ) Kill Bill Vol. 1
( ) Kill Bill Vol. 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks: Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks: The Battle For Endor
( ) The Matrix
( ) The Matrix: Reloaded
( ) The Matrix: Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
(X ) Evil Dead
(X ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

If you really, really love someone. . .

I know you're probably thinking about all the really deep, compassionate, philosophical ways we could end that statement. I started to give examples but I don't even feel like going there -- so trite. But what I really want to say is this:

If you really, really love someone. . . and their true heart's desire is to be on American Idol. . . and they can't carry a tune in an epoxy-lined bucket with a vacuum-sealed lid. . . please, please, please do us all a favor. And hit them on the head with a cinder block.

This is serious, this is real, this is....WAR

Let's rewind a bit, shall we? To oh, say, about 6 months ago. Dates are irrelevant for these purposes but they have happened over the ensuing 6 months. You must understand that, unfortunately, I sleep in a bedroom separate from DH at the other end of the house because it is impossible, both physically and psychologically, for me to attempt to engage in productive REM sleep while in the bed beside something making a noise that is some combination of foghorn, chain saw, mad mama bear, warthog, and steam engine. [Author's note: That situation has long since been remedied, thankfully!]

• Sometime in the summer, I am sitting at the computer, upstairs, and hear scritch-scritch-scritching in the attic above me. Oh, crud, there's a squirrel in the attic. Ignore it.
• Repeat 4-5 evenings.
• Tell DH, "There's a squirrel in the attic." Receive reply: "No, there's not."
• Start hearing squirrels playing in the morning on Saturdays when I'm not getting up at 5:30 am. They start playing about 6 am.
• Tell DH there is now more than one squirrel in the attic. Receive reply: "No, there's not."
• Hear squirrels arguing/playing/chittering/mating/smoking cigarrettes in afterglow. Go upstairs and find miniature champagne glasses and a flower-laden ponytail holder, escaped from Olivia's bathroom, that was apparently used as a squirrel-sized thong. Not to mention a CD single of "Muskrat Love." Show DH. He claims they were left behind by a band of gnomes that was adopted by the family who lived here before us.
  
• A few weeks later, the resident rodents have apparently extended an invitation to friends and/or family to set up house/nest at the other end of their plantation, which would be above DH's bedroom. DH tells me, "There are squirrels in the attic." Deliver reply: unprintable.
• I am told that moth balls are a deterrent to squirrels. I toss moth balls in the attic. Squirrels are apparently turned on by moth balls. I think they use them for bowling or croquet; based on the sound, I cannot determine exactly which. I cannot retrieve the moth balls because they have sunk into the blown-in insulation. My upstairs smells like moth balls.
• Spend the next few weeks banging the attic door, flicking the attic light on and off and yelling "SCRAM, YOU FUZZ-TAILED, EAVES-GNAWING FIENDS!" at dusk and dawn. The squirrels have responded to this, oh, yes -- by inviting friends over to hear the crazy lady and eat popcorn; there's no way their friends would believe it unless they see it for themselves.
  
• Look online and inquire of friends as to measure for dealing with squirrels. Options are the catch-and-release-them-ten-miles-away-cage (not a long-term solution) or a professional extermination and a carpenter to re-seal all possible entries. My husband suggests putting rat poison in peanut butter in the attic. ??? I don't want live squirrels in the attic, I sure don't want dead squirrels in the attic. He is positive they would go outside to die. But then he's also positive they don't nest and have babies in attics. Funny, that's not what my extensive research told me.
• Finally, DH decides to research the matter himself. He disappears in the basement to his computer for an hour and proclaims that he has decided to go with the experts. I am relieved -- we'll have a professional exterminator remove the rodents and have the soffits checked and sealed. He looks at me as though I am nuts. No, not THOSE experts, silly -- the OTHER experts -- rednecks. (Wonder if that sage advice will come from his uncle or my cousins....and, did you know that if you Google "squirrel attic redneck" you get 20,100 results? Try it!) That's right, my husband is going to sit in the attic with a gun. And, of course, none of the 11 guns in the cabinet downstairs will suffice -- I'm actually very relieved that he has opted NOT to hunt wildlife in our attic with any of his current shotguns, rifles, pistols, or even the Germany military semi-automatic something-or-other (I don't know, don't ask). This calls for a high-powered pellet gun. Which he has yet to purchase. It has to be a particular brand of gun and he knew right away which kind that was. I'm starting to think he's been hankering for this thing for some time and maybe invited the squirrels in, himself, as an excuse to acquire a new toy.
  

More to come at an undetermined time. Unfortunately (fortunately?) this is the week where my husband has to work late and can't go pellet-gun shopping for a few days. I will admit, I have just enough good 'ole girl in me to be mildly intrigued and, perhaps, turned on by his pending display of machismo. Stay tuned. I have no idea what happens when live 110-volt wires are hit by a screaming 4-mm ball of high-density plastic at high velocity.

Stolen blog material

Explain what ended your last relationship?
My hubby. :-) I was only dating the guy at the time, then I met hubby and the rest was history...

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Taking roll in class and getting ready to go to chapel.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Um, I think looking at the website myfamily.com.

Are you any good at math?
Pretty decent, I'd have to say. I love teaching it. I don't get to do these with my 7th graders but I love the quadratic formula, proofs in plane geometry, and completing the square. We are, however, about to start factoring monomials and polynomials in my pre-algebra classes, woo-hoo!

Your prom night?
Junior prom with a wacko, obsessed boyfriend. Didn't go to my senior prom b/c my mom was going to make me wear the dress from Prom #1. Not!

Do you have any famous ancestors?
Nobody recognizable that I'm aware of. I don't know particulars b/c the records are very spotty, but my grandfather was in the equivalent of the CIA in WWI. We can't find out much about his service, oddly enough...

Have you had to take a loan out for school?
I did after a while. Had scholarships in the beginning but after so many college and major changes, they get impatient with that.

Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
No myspace profile.

Last thing received in the mail?
Junk and a River Street Sweets catalog.

How many different beverages have you had today?
Sweet tea from Chick-Fil-A, water, tea at home.

Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine?
Yes.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Get ready to fall off your stool but....Ozzie Osbourne! See answer about "prom," above.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yes, thought it was a requirement.

What was the most painful dental procedure you have had?
Anything where I have to keep my mouth open for a long time. My wisdom teeth extractions (4 at once, impacted) weren't bad thanks to some great pain killers.

What is out your back door?
Deck, screen porch, woods.

Any plans for Friday night?
No.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Doesn't do anything, really.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Oh, yes. Cant' stand them.

Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes.

Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes, once or twice.

Some things you are excited about?
Gee....not really anything righ now!

What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Lime. I used to go to Piccadilly cafeteria when I was pregnant and get 2-3 bowls of it at lunch.

Describe your keychain(s)
Pewter Eeyore with key and opener for my Jeep, keys for old Jeep and the BMW, my house key, mom's house key, tags for Kroger, CVS, Build-A-Bear, and Memories.

Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet until I use it to pay for the next item.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.

Did you read this far? Consider yourself tagged.
Yikes, I fell for it....

Now I know why chalkboards are passe in classrooms

Chalkboards are out, white boards are in....and I finally figured it out today. I thought it was because of the chalk dust being messy, but it's actually because you can't get high from sniffing chalk. Ahhhhhh, blessed relief from a few whiffs of my Expo marker!!

Many of my kiddos bombed their math vocab test last week. I think this was totally unfounded, but as a gift of grace I offered them the chance to make corrections and turn their quiz back in. The questions were originally 4 pts apiece; properly corrected answers would gain them back 1 point each. So, I'm going through them today and notice that, for one guy, the writing of his revisions (just the letter, since it was matching) didn't match his normal writing and that of the letters on his original answers. I compare letters closely (the Rs, the Bs, the Ms, etc) and nope, they're different. So I asked him:

"Einstein, did anyone help you with your corrections?"

"Yes, my dad."

"Did you write the corrections?"

"No, my dad did."

"Where were you?"

"I was lying on the sofa. He was sitting at the table and I told him what to write."

Need I even attempt to describe the look that I felt come over my face at that point?

Einstein has a twin, also in 7th grade but they're in different classes. In science (I don't have them for science) they have been making PHOTOCOPIES of each other's papers to turn in for notebook checks! When the teacher discovered that today during a notebook check she turned eight shades of aubergine. That just doesn't even make good sense. Especially when on one paper you barely scribble through your brother's name and write yours above it....and the other one, well, why even bother scribbling out his name.

Now, back to my Expo markers to deal with the harsh realities of life with 7th graders.

Things I don't understand

• When a student is doing well, the student gets the credit. When she's not, I get the blame.
• Parents who send their child to a school because of its academic reputation (i.e., rigor), then complain because their child isn't getting straight As.
• Parents who tell their 7th grader, "Don't come to me for help, that math is too hard for me." Gee, nice encouragement there! Are these the same people who programmed Barbie? (remember the "Math class is hard!" debacle?)
  
• Why a parent would ask for a conference with me about something that is seemingly insignificant, then come in with an entirely different agenda (for which I am not prepared) and not even broach the subject they originally inquired about.
  
• Why I can't give writing assignments for punishment of repeated offenses. (writing the entire definition of "silent" 20 times for repeatedly talking at the silent lunch table)
• Why I can't give silent lunch anymore (it infringes on their "social" time -- wellllll, if they'd just be silent IN class......)
• Why it takes me 10 hours or more a day to prepare and teach five, 50-minute classes.
• Why the just-this-month-turned-12-year-old who made Cs at her previous school in a class of FIVE was put into 7th grade instead of 6th.
• Why a parent is still bugging me about his child's zero on a HOMEWORK grade from the first week of school (she didn't turn it in!).
• My info that went home the very first week stated "All tests will be sent home to be signed by a parent and must be returned the next day." Parents returned a signed acknowledgment. But today I got back a test on which the child had made a 101 with the parent's comment, "WHY am I having to sign this?" I sent back a photocopy of the info sheet he had signed.
  
• Why I love these kids anyway!

Blessed are those who perservere because....well, just because!

Way overdue

Both an entry from me and a total reform, no, revolution, no, REPEAL of the federal income tax. I'm taking the quick and dirty way today to accomplish two goals: an easy entry for me and to further the cause of the Fair Tax. Quoted from their site:

The FairTax was created by first asking the American people what they wanted out of a tax system, and then having a team of respected economists design a tax system that met those demands. The FairTax replaces the income tax and all other federal taxes with a national consumption tax. The FairTax is levied only once, at the point of purchase on new goods and services. The simplicity of the FairTax frees Americans from our current overwhelming tax code and unshackles the U.S. economy.

The Fair Tax:

• Abolishes the IRS
• Closes all tax loopholes and brings fairness to taxation
• Maintains our current Social Security and Medicare benefits
• Brings transparency and accountability to tax policy
• Allows American products to compete fairly
• Reimburses the tax on purchases of basic necessities
• Enables retirees to keep their entire pension
• Enables workers to keep their entire paycheck

Read the FAQs here.


Plain English Summary here.


Sign the petition.


Spread the word. We can do it! Let's make April 15th just another day.

Woo-hoo, my first blog tag!

Convenient because I'm in the land of the living dead right now with a URI -- welcome back to school!

Four jobs I've had in my life:
Bank teller trainer
Research faculty member at Georgia Tech
Typesetter for newspaper (high school)
Car seat/booster seat educator for a children's hospital

Four places I've lived:
Greenville, SC
Rocky Bottom, SC
Marietta, GA
Toccoa, GA

Four TV shows I love to watch:
The Office (I nearly cry when it goes off)
Boston Legal
Survivor
House

Four Places I've been on vacation:
Charleston, SC
Israel
Quebec
Disney World

Four Homemade Foods I love:
My Greek chicken
Parmesan Chicken
Roast beef
Almond creme with raspberry sauce

Four places I'd rather be right now:
Magic Kingdom, Disney World
Animal Kingdom, Disney World
Orcas Island, WA
In bed with a bottle of NyQuil

Four People I Tag:
Allyson
Claudia
Heather
Katie

38 days and 15 hours 'til I'm on my way to hug Mickey!

Wow, 10 days?

Hard to believe it's been 10 days since I posted but, yeah, with just having completed the first week of school, I guess it's not surprising. I reminded Sweetie that the first few weeks back are all about sandwiches and takeout food. I set a personal record by getting sick after only 2.5 days back with kiddos -- it usually takes me about a month. If these were little knee-high kiddos, I could understand, but middle schoolers? Ack, how did THIS happen?

Check out my new link to real-time immigration statistics at ImmigrationCounters.com. How can anybody look at this and deny there is not a real problem here? We have got to stop whipping out the medical, education, and welfare teats for every warm body that holds out a hand. Getting the Fair Tax into reality will at least help recoup some of the losses the American taxpayer is experiencing, but according to ImmigrationCounters there has been $397,469,181,012 wired to Mexico as of the time I am writing this, much of it untaxed. At even a 10% tax rate, these social leeches would be putting $39 BILLION into the coffers toward everything they get from US working people. It's time to buckle down and secure our borders, hold lawbreakers accountable, and ditch the IRS. What a wonderful world.

Cheating today

Just a quickie post to say I did it. Today for three and a half hours we were blessed with insights and inspiration from Dr. Tim Elmore, author of the acclaimed book, Nurturing the Leader within our Child. (Hmmm, how is it I've heard so much about this book in the last couple of years and there's only one review on Amazon.com?). He was amazing. He had some very pointed insights about this current generation, the Millennials. The school actually provided for us a copy of one of Dr. Elmore's Habitudes books, his third one, The Art of Leading Others. Read more about Dr. Elmore here.

I can't wait to delve into both of those books, but my gravy, I have a full plate! I'm in the middle of reading two others (see those on the left frame) and am just a tad busy these days preparing for oh, what is it? Just SCHOOL! Yikes! We have some awesome things in store for our 7th grade team. We are having an Army theme; they've already been drafted (promoted and assigned, LOL). The first day when we have all the paperwork is enlistment; their PE is going to be PT; we're going to Camp Kanuga this fall for some team-building exercises. Wonder if I can get them to come to my house for some KP duty? This came about because our principal said this group just needs some help with bonding and some of them need some encouragement. Our team leader prayed for guidance on ideas and the words honor and discipline kept being given to her. She ran into a former student who has just enlisted and he impressed upon her that the Army is all about honor and discipline. The overall theme is that the students are joining God's army but the military aspect will be there, as well. We decided not to shave their heads. . .We have a full U.S. Army uniform as well as the uniform like that of a Roman soldier to compare side by side.

It should be a great year. I'm anxious and nervous; I always am. The first day is always the most nerve wracking, but I have every confidence it will be a great year, both for me as a teacher and for daughter in first grade. Tears to come later.

Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. -- Ephesians 6:11

When E.F. Hutton Speaks

Remember the commercials that would show people cupping their ears to listen to Mr. Hutton (supposedly)? “When E.F. Hutton speaks, people listen,” it said. My philosophy: when God speaks, I listen! Well, I would LIKE to say that I always listen but, being a mere human, it’s not that simple. But when God says the same thing to me twice, you can better believe I will turn an ear (and a heart) toward him. That happened to me over the past two days.

Yesterday at church, our Minster of Pastoral Care gave the sermon; it was our pastor's last Sunday of sabbatical. He spoke on Colossians 1:27: “…to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Now, I’m sure I’ve come across this verse in reading before but had never heard an exposition of it. While he referenced many other verses, this was his key verse and he kept bringing everything back around to how we don’t have to wonder as to the nature of the hope of the gospel – it’s Christ, in us, and that for believers the “riches of glory” is no longer a mystery. Very, very good, very touching to me, and I took notes.

Fast forward to today, the first day of preplanning at school for all teachers. Our Christian school is not part of a church. Even though the board members are all Christians, they are mostly businessmen and women and a homemaker or two. When the school was founded, they knew it was important to have true spiritual leadership from clergy members, so they ordained a committee of pastors (fathers of students) to give spiritual leadership to the decisions and direction of the school. Three of those pastors spoke this morning. The first one was fun, light, and interesting. The second one referenced our school’s theme verse: “We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ” (Colossians 1:28). The point he kept driving home was, “Who among us is adequate?” Well, I certainly knew it is not ME by the time he charged us with all the responsibilities and burdens that we bear as teachers and ministers in that school! But what really got me was where he led us from there to state the source of our strength, the previous verse: “…Christ in you, the hope of glory.” ???? Now, it is an understatement to say that my radar screen really lit up at that. It had been, after all, not 24 hours before that I had listened to 50 minutes’ worth of teaching on that very verse. Wow. Just wow.

I won’t go into great detail here because it was a message for me and would lose something, probably, if I tried to translate it here. But the most wonderful thing was that, after three of the pastors had spoken, all the teachers, staff, administrators, even the facilities personnel lined up for commissioning: they prayed over us individually, by name, and we partook of the Lord’s Supper. What a sacred moment and what a privilege to begin a new school year this way, in an institution that bathes itself in prayer. What a deeply humbling, yet inspiring, thing to join in God’s work as an extension of the Christian home. Who among us is adequate? Not me. And I have to realize that none of my coworkers is adequate for the task, either. But God is. This is His work; as long as we consecrate ourselves to His work, in His will, He will be more than adequate through our pitiful flesh.

Christ in you, the hope of glory. While I have never mulled over those words before yesterday, I know that is what keeps me going. Today I sing a new song because my heart is overflowing with the hope of the glory that has been promised to me. Seven very simple words, one very profound meaning. I will be contemplating this for days to come.

Please pray that God will bless, strengthen, and inspire all the teachers, students, and families as another school year begins anew.

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. – 2 Corinthians 3:18

Come again?

In the beginning, there was a desire for a candy. On the second day, it developed into a soft, sort of a kersquoozy-chewy marshmallow-like candy. On the third day, it was decided the candy would be shaped like a peanut. On the fourth day, the idea had developed into an orange, peanut-shaped candy. And, on the fifth day? Oh, yeah, let's make it marshmallow, peanut-shaped, orange colored, and banana flavored. Let there be....Circus Peanuts?????

Ah, yes, I regressed to age 7 and bought a bag today, at a humongadingus Bass Pro Shop Outdoor World, of all places. Daughter loves to go; they have all manner of stuffed wildlife, mounted gamefish, a huge fish tank, a rock climbing wall where we can watch people publicly humble themselves, and a shooting arcade. This weekend happened to be the Fall Hunting Classic, so there were lots of exhibits. We got to see several venomous and non-venomous snakes that are native to GA (yes, live, and yes, in locked aquariums, thank you very much), and a lady was there with a red-tailed hawk, a barn owl and a screech owl. The little screech owl had been molting and was just the cutest little thing. Daughter had her Beanie Baby hamster in her hand and the lady with the birds very wisely suggested that we stash Haffertee in my purse so as to not lead the magnificent birds of prey into thinking that we had brought a snack. Oh, yes, the Beanie Baby is named Pellet but for us it is Haffertee, after Haffertee Hamster Diamond in the books by Janet & John Perkins, now out of print but sometimes available on eBay - we highly recommend them.

The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die!" . . . The LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, cursed are you more than all cattle, and more than every beast of the field; on your belly you will go, and dust you will eat all the days of your life." Genesis 3:4, 14

Gotta give a little shout out

To my new favorite indulgence, philosophy's state of grace fragrance. I've seen philosophy on QVC for a few years and I've always been intrigued by it. Last night, after dinner at The Cheesecake Factory, DH and I wandered into the mall and I had to stop by my favorite girly-girl place, Sephora. I knew this wouldn't be a spree, so I had to narrow things down pretty quickly. I had philosophy on my mind after seeing it just a couple of nights ago on QVC, so I headed there. All the testimonials are true about their state of grace fragrances. They are something you can wear and you won't get, "What kind of perfume are you wearing?" And you can never tell if the asker means they like it or want to avoid it. This is more of a "wow, you smell great!" sort of a fragrance, not clingy, it's more like you're walking around in a little misty veil of cleanness. I'm going to have to get the other two, amazing grace and baby grace. I layered them in the store last night and they were just amazing. So, I'm feeling fresh and girly today. Not a bad way to start the day!

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. -- 2 Corinthians 2:15

Confession

Some of you think you know me. I’m a Christian, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a southerner, a teacher, an American, a conservative. Like most people, there are any number of labels that very aptly describe my leanings, my tastes, my talents, my positions, my faults. But I have a secret. One that very few people know. One that I really don’t talk about much, because it’s the sort of thing that will cause people to stare at you blankly and sidle away from you trying to look, at the same time, both at you (to make sure you’re not about to sprout another head or grab them about the neck with a tentacle) and where they’re going (to avoid personal injury as they attempt to escape from your imminently evil clutches).

I am just about obsessed with Bigfoot. As a matter of fact, a couple of years ago I developed and maintained a Bigfoot search results page for about.com. (Was getting paid for it, then they said they were abandoning this program and I wouldn’t get paid anymore. But, hmm. Guess what. It’s still there, still pops up in Google, still has ads on it. Somebody’s making money and it ain’t me…Time to check into this.)

I digress. I believe in Bigfoot. I have good reason to believe in Bigfoot. I have a close friend/relative (I try to specifically be very vague) who had a Bigfoot encounter (in the U.S.) several years ago. This is a person I know very well and have known for years, someone I would trust with my life. Someone who is educated, and who is a Christian and does not believe in alien abduction. So, I really have no choice but to believe in Bigfoot. This person’s encounter was verified and is presented in the many sightings reports of the Bigfoot Field Researcher’s Organization as a Class A report. (No, I will not tell you which one. I have pledged to maintain this person’s anonymity; only 3 other people have been told about this encounter by this particular person. Others were involved and, to the best knowledge, they have not discussed the matter outside their family. It’s not really coffee klatch conversation for those who have experienced it, apparently.)

Let me add that I also do not believe in aliens. God clearly states that he created heaven and earth; light; water and land; plants; animals; and, finally, His most beloved, blessed and special creation of all: man. Nowhere does God claim to have created any other sort of living being anywhere beyond the realm of our Earth, and certainly there is no mention of any living creation of His having reason and intellect other than man.

But Bigfoot? Is it really that wacky? There are dozens of field reports each year of scientists and researchers discovering animal species that have never before been reported, or re-discovering some that were thought to have been extinct. God spends quite a bit of time telling Job that God alone knows the total depths, wonders, and complexities of the world; after all, He created it. We will never know everything about this amazing planet that supports life in our solar system against all odds. I do not believe we are supposed to know everything. But don’t take my word for it. I’ve included some select charges to Job from God. Read Job 38-41 for “the rest of the story.”

“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. Do you know the ordinances of the heavens, or fix their rule over earth? Who has put wisdom in the innermost being or given understanding to the mind? Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars, stretching his wings toward the south? Behold now, Behemoth [which some take to be dinosaurs], which I made as well as you. He eats grass like an ox; His bones are tubes of bronze; He bends his tail like a cedar; His limbs are like bars of iron. Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook? Can you fill his skin with harpoons, or his heat with fishing spears? Lay your hand on him; remember the battle; you will not do it again.”

Now, after hearing God challenge the knowledge that Job thought he, himself, possessed, it is easy to see that we are not intended to have God’s knowledge about our world. There are many things that are unknown to us because our Creator has deemed them fit for His mind alone, at least for a time. But, now you know one of my deepest, most closely guarded secrets. I believe in Bigfoot. And I believe in God. Faith and mystery can, certainly, co-exist.

For a fascinating and easy read on dinosaurs and other “monsters” from a biblical perspective, check out Dinosaur Questions and Answers from Answers in Genesis.

Favorite Bigfoot Questions and Answers

I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. – Job 42:3

Little Blessings...

The downstairs A/C unit quit working yesterday. Oh, yeah, during the August heat wave of 2006 in Georgia. (Please, no "global warming" rants; blame the misplaced jet stream.) It’s kind of important. I told DH maybe it tripped a breaker since it had been running so much lately. He groused, “Oh, no, it COULDN’T be anything THAT simple and cheap!” Grumble grumble grumble to the basement. And I’m behind him saying, “Well, it COULD be!” More grumbling about my rose-colored glasses. We get down there and somehow the cover has slipped and messed up the switch. Straighten the cover, A/C works. We were giving God some high fives on that!

Speaking of A/C…last week DH changed the air filters on the units (hmm, now I know maybe how the cover got messed up!). He went to the attic unit and started in…grousing, grumbling, muttering, blah blah blah. “We’ve got a bona fide MESS on our hands up here! Blah-blah house falling apart blah blah money blah blah….don’t have time blah blah.” The tubing leading from the condenser had gotten plugged and the tray that is there to catch any drips was full of water to the brim. Now, all he had to do was siphon out the pan and clear the tubing. Muttering the whole time about his horrible luck. Me? I was downstairs praising God that DH had actually gone up to change the filter! Imagine the mess we COULD have had if he hadn’t gone?! I was pretty happy. I try to be thankful.

My back pain, that has limited my activities for a year and a half despite various treatments and pharmacological remedies, has been about 90% better since I had needles stuck in my hands and feet two weeks ago. I am a believer in that acupuncture! Stick me, baby, one more time!

A couple from our Sunday school class is taking us to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner tonight, just to get to know us better since we’re so far from church and never get to go to any of the during-the-week stuff. Yum-O!

A co-worker from my previous school and her husband have been going through the process of adopting a baby from Thailand. The past year has been all about paperwork, visits, qualifying, etc. When school was out they were down to the money part and she was concerned and having us pray about that. They would have it but only by taking a home equity loan, which they would rather not do. I saw her yesterday and asked for an update. No baby yet, but a few weeks ago they went into their Sunday school class (about 15 couples) and were presented a check for $2800, all donations. That evening her grandmother called. She had inherited some money from a relative and was giving them $2000. Their agency called a few days later and said someone else from their church had donated $2000 anonymously. These blessings, combined with their savings, give them all the money they need. The next contact they get from the agency should be baby news! What a wonderful, loving, Christian home awaits some truly blessed little soul that God is preparing just for them. My prayers are with you, A & B!

Wow, I can’t think of a better way to end than that.

I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and will glorify Your name forever. Psalm 86:12